A few years ago, during the end of my marriage, I was dealing with a lot of shame and guilt. I was ashamed of the steps I took to get out of my unhealthy relationship, and the guilt from feeling that I was this horrible, pathetic person, who was better off 6 feet under instead of blessed with a beautiful daughter and loving support from friends and family.
Tonks understood my pain, she saw how I was treated, knew who I was inside, and rejected who the other people involved spinned me to be.
During one particularly dark day, she told me about a video game she use to play, Fable.
In this game you are a God and your choices directly affected the people within your little world. She told me that she had played this game many times, using many different strategies, but no matter how she played it, it was always more difficult to be a good, loving God, instead of a cruel one. She concluded with telling me that, I was a good person, better than the ones who were using negative and toxic means to bring me down.
I bring all this up, because it’s that time of year again (well this happens several times a year but meh) when the ex feels the need to remind me of what a “pathetic” person I am. It is an ongoing battle, a few months of peace, with a few weeks of turmoil, it’s my life, and I’m handling it; better than I have in the past. I was telling my therapist about the recent bs when he looked at me and said -”Your skin is getting thicker!”
*smiles to herself* yeah I suppose it is.
I decided a long time ago that I was going to take the harder path, the one of love, light, and truth, and while there are times when I find myself slipping into the world of cruelties, darkness and doubts, I do find pride in being able to say, that’s not who I am, I am better than that and I just need to keep moving forward, even if the terrain looks impenetrable.
I leave you with the a poem by Robert Frost, the first poem that I remember learning, and inspiring me. I thank Squaqr, and Jose for posting this picture. I unfortunately do not know who the original artist is, but if someone does know, please let me know so I can give them credit.
Love and Light,
PS. The Air Show is today, it’s cloudy, but I’ll try to get you some good photographs.
Update: Scratch that last part, the planes, or shall I say jets, moved to fast to get a decent picture, Sorry. (than there was the clouds, but hearing the roar of there engines and than seeing them burst out of a cloud was fun.